I need some advice.
Brighton is dramatic. Okay, so lots of girls are... but she is also very independent, stubborn and has a fierce defiance streak coming through.
Issues:
Crying over e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. And lots of times for no reason... she'll just start crying. It gets to the point where I'm sure there must be something physically wrong with her (ear infection or something), but she never says anything hurts. I ask if she would like something to eat or drink... she'll scream, "no!" I check her diaper, nothing there... and it doesn't seem to matter how much sleep she's gotten. A lot of the times, she'll have "no-reason-meltdowns" first thing in the morning after she's slept 12-13 hours. (She always wakes up super happy... it's about 20 minutes later she'll fall apart)
Screaming. I don't care if she's loud while she's having fun, but when she screams at me out of defiance, i.e. I tell her she can't have something, what should I do? We've tried ignoring her, time outs, and lately flicking her mouth. Everything works about twice, and then she doesn't seem to care about the consequence after that. We seriously had a screaming/flicking war in Wal-mart the other day. I must have flicked her 10 times before she stopped screaming back.
She won't stay in a "time-out" chair, so either I have to hold her/sit next to her and keep her there, or put her in her crib. I don't love putting her in her crib as punishment, because I worry that she'll hate going to bed, which she's generally really good about.
I know there are those of you out there that are going to say, "Brighton? But she's such a good kid!" She is 100 times better around other people. It's mostly at home when we have problems... or now that Stacy lives close and the novelty of seeing her has worn off, she has witnessed some meltdowns too.
I'm sure some of it has to do with having a sister around now. And I am SUPER grateful that she doesn't take out any jealousy she may be having on Boston. She is always very excited to see her sister, and is super sweet with her.
So... I'll take any advice you want to give. Let the discussion begin.
I wish I had advice for you. Instead, I'm going to take a mental note of this post so when my time comes I'll be able to come back for some advice! :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteShe is probably acting out because of the new baby in the house. Natty went through that at her age and Noah went...well still goes through it. Honestly the only thing that really works for my kids is ignoring them. Like when Noah starts screaming I leave the room and lock myself in my room. He went crazy the first couple of times but now when he starts screaming I start to leave and he grabs my leg and stops. When he stops screaming I calmly ask him what it is he would like and try to explain why he can't have it.
ReplyDeleteWhen he screams in public I ask him if he would like me to leave him there and he usually stops.
I can't flick/tap etc. Noah because I don't want him to think it's okay to do when he is mad, because we wall know he will.
Good luck! She'll grow out of it just as Boston is growing into it:) At least you will better prepared!
Seriously...Talk to Mom. Not sure, but that sounds a LOT like how I was when I was a kid. No matter what the consequence I still acted out, I would never stay on time out, hence the reason I used to get tied to the chair. If it makes you feel any better, I was only a brat until I hit my teens!
ReplyDeleteCatherine, your mom has said multiple times that Brighton reminds her of you!
ReplyDeleteSuper Nanny would say to keep with the time outs. Try setting a timer or something. If she gets out of the chair then the timer has to be reset. My mother would say find something that bothers her...in my case it was my stuffed elephant. If I got in trouble she would put it on the fridge where I could see it but not touch it. Sometimes I couldn't have it for nap time. Nickolas has found a love for the Nintendo DS so that gets taken away when he is being naughty. Keep up the good work. Love ya.
ReplyDeleteI agree with a couple of things above. First, it is probably a combination of the new sister - even though she loves Boston - she is probably acting out because of her. Second, that's just her - stubborn, dramatic, etc. I think sometimes parents don't realize how many times they have to do something before a child will get it. Like the time out. It may take 100 times for you to put her on that chair, but she'll get it. She's testing you big time! Also, I would make REALLY sure that you spend extra time with her - take her to the store and leave the baby - one on one play time when you can, etc. The terrible two's don't last forever. She's a smart girl - if you're consistent, she'll catch on. When I first read Catherine's post and it said "Mom" of course I thought it was Sundee. And then I thought - Did I tie her to a chair???? Good luck, sweetie!
ReplyDeleteI think some of it might have to do with Boston and some of it isn't. In have an almost two year old and no baby who is going through the same thing. I think it's just the age. With Ava, she was worse in her 3s so I'm definitely not used to this terrible two thing.
ReplyDeleteWhile I think they understand a lot (especially B who's been talking since she was fresh out of the womb) there are some things I don't think they do get. Uncalled for tantrums, refusing to share, pushing our buttons... It's their way of expression.
I would just continue to do whatever seems to be working... Even if it's just barely working. Good luck friend.
Jodee that is such an adorably sweet photo!!!!
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