This "seriously" post is brought to you by Brighton and Boston.
Me: "Boston, what color is your hair?" Boston: "PINK!" Well, I guess that's pretty close.
As we were eating lunch at Cafe Rio, as we do quite often, Brighton, at the top of her lungs yells, "I love you Cafe Rio!"
Brighton: "Boston, you be the confidence, I'll be the teacher". Then
proceeds to sing a song. I finally realized she meant audience.
Brighton in her most serious/mad/threatening tone:
"Mom. If you make me staticky I'm going to have to smack you in the face and put you in time out." Staticky? Still not sure what she meant.
"Mom! You're kidding me!" - She says this to me quite often.
"Mom. If you put my princess dress on I'm going to pee in it."
And last...
Boston insists on pretending to go potty
at least 5 times a day. See this post. She's been doing this for the last 6 months! I keep telling myself that one day she'll just start actually peeing, and then she'll be magically potty trained and we'll never have accidents because she had so much pretend practice. Right, right? So the other day after a pretend potty sesh I didn't put
her diaper right back on.... Within 2 minutes she had peed on the kitchen
floor. And then slipped and fell in it.
I was making a list of ingredients I needed to get for this recipe I wanted to try. I had to google image "fresh dill" because all I could think of was dill pickles. My mind couldn't register that "dill" was it's own thing.
I finally decided to bite the bullet and take away Boston's "baba". Like ripping a bandaid off; quick and painless, right? More like a slow death by stabbing someone with tweezers. I took away her "baba" and she basically has been flipping me off for over a week. This will get it's own post later, so I can reference it next time I think, "It's worth it."
I feel like such a mean mom filming her hysteria :-( This was after I tried holding her, rocking her, you name it. She was just pissed.
Instagram finally has an app for Android. Let's be friends! Seriously. Jodeehc is my name.
We were playing at the beach one afternoon as mentioned in my Spring Break post. Brighton found a beach ball and was playing with it. We were there with 4 other families so for awhile, I assumed it was one of theirs. When I realized it wasn't, I got up to tell her she needed to put it back. As I was walking toward her, she throws the ball out into the water. Since we were at the bay, it quickly started floating out to sea. A dad of some kids next to us came down, and I asked if it was their ball. It did belong to a kid in their group, so I offered to pay for the ball (it was long gone, and the water was freezing). He said, "No, no, it's okay, I'll get her a new one". I said, "Please, just let me give you five bucks?" He says, "No really, it's fine." I say, "I feel terrible, I really will pay for it." He says, "No, really, it's fine, there's nothing you can do." Then he says, "Really... I'm a happily married man. There is really nothing you can do for me." Um, awkward much? I just said, "Oh, Oookaaay", took Brighton's hand and walked away. Seriously.
Our townhouses do not face the street, so it's just the side of one unit that is on the street. Same as a lot of other townhouses on our street. But for some reason, our front lawn has been designated as the "one mans trash, another mans treasure" lawn. I swear they (whoever they is) always drop things off when I'm out. I leave for an hour and then come back and there is always new junk. Most of the time in broad day light! If you have been to my house, you have probably seen a stray couch or dresser sitting out. Just lovely. This was our latest, and by far the most, junk we've seen. Luckily, someone else picks it up pretty quickly. Like I said, one mans trash, another mans treasure. And I have never seen the dropper or picker upper.
And I'll end with another ditsy story about myself.
I was helping Stacy unpack and was rearranging her dishes in her kitchen. She had a stack of heavy glass plates on the top shelf of one cupboard, and I was moving them into the adjoining corner cupboard. (The cupboards that meet in the corner of the kitchen). Not realizing the top shelf was not separated, I moved all of the plates out and around into the corner of the "other" cupboard. Once done with the stack, I look and see "another" stack in the corner! I tell Stacy, "Wow, you have a lot of these plates!" and proceed to argue with her that she has well over 12. I then count on one side, 1,2,3, etc. then go around the other side and continue counting. 13, 14, 15, etc. She just started busting up, and was like, "those are the same plates!" I about died laughing.
Here is an illustration where I was moving the plates too, and then looking in both sides and thinking they were different stacks. So blonde. Best drawing you've seen all day.
*I was putting away the dishes from the dishwasher and noticing that they weren't very clean. I was whining to myself about "what is the point of having a dishwasher if you just have to rewash half of them anyway!" when I leaned up against the dishwasher door to put something high in a cupboard and closed it. I jumped because the dishwasher turned on. Oooooohhhhh yaaaaaa. I had opened it the night before when I was on the phone (my dishwasher is the loudest thing ever) and never restarted it. Luckily I had only unloaded the top rack. Oops!
*You have to download the Pin it bookmark. If you ever come across something you want to create a pin for, it's the simplest thing ever. Click here to download.
*My mom gave my girls harmonicas for Easter. Like legit, real, harmonicas. That is a "seriously" moment in of itself. Kill me. But the funny "seriously" part is that Brighton can never quite say it right. Tonight she called it a "moronica". It gave me the giggles.
*Boston is the most persistent kid I've ever met. I caught some of the non-stop whining we had going on the other day. Towards the end when she's saying, "I wanna watch" with her deep voice is when I about kill myself. And yes, I will blackmail her with it. And yes, I realize this isn't as horrific on a 1 minute video as it was for me for 5 hours the other day. Don't judge.
*The other night, Braden was tinkering with the songs on his phone. A particular song came on and he said, "I'll give you whatever you want if you can tell me who's singing." I said, almost without hesitation, "Patrick Swayze." It was "She's Like the Wind" from Dirty Dancing. Boo-freakin'-ya! He said, "How the hell do you know that!" Come on babe, every girl probably knows that. Hmmm, now what do I want...
When trying to get Brighton to get in her car seat... Brighton: "Mom! Stop asking me again! It's sooooo annoying!" Is she going on 4 or 14?
When I drive, I frequently refer to annoying drivers as "Jack" not "Jack A**", just "Jack". The other day Brighton says, "Mom, who is Jack? Where iiiis he? I never can see him".
Boston is the one shoe bandit. She is either missing a shoe, or something like this is going on.
We went to Cafe Rio for lunch after Tot Lot, as we do often, and as I pulled up I noticed there was only 1 or 2 cars in the parking lot. "Awesome!" Especially since it was almost noon. Once I got out though, an employee informed me that their was a "power outrage" and that they were closed.
I went 6 days without washing my hair. Quite successfully I have to say. Some of you might think, "disgusting", but it was seriously the best hair therapy ever! My hair feels so much healthier now! All thanks to my new favorite dry shampoo Batiste. (I used Original, but it comes in different shades for blonde or dark hair too).
It has definitely been a "seriously?" kind of night....
I don't want pity, I want laughter. I hope hearing about my night will bring you comic relief and make you feel better about any "seriously?" type moments you've had lately.
3:55pm: I'm driving to a baptism about a mile from my house. I'm a block away when I see a stick... okay maybe it was a small branch... in the middle of my lane. Needing to turn left soon, I decide not to change lanes but to "straddle" the stick/branch. Well... either I have even more horrible depth perception than I thought, or I'm just plain lucky, but I hit the damn branch and it lodged itself in my back axle (or somewhere near there) right up against my tire. The worst whining/rubbing sound ensued and I immediately pulled over to inspect. So here I am on the side of Bloomfield in my dress, on my hands and knees, trying to pull this darn branch out from under my car. Lovely. I didn't have any luck, so I turned my hazard lights on and crept over to the church building to attend the baptism. Afterward, I challenged all of the Elders in attendance to see who was strongest and could get the branch out. After much deliberation, and attempt, they eventually had to jack up my van to remove it. Phew. But seriously? Who runs over tree branches?
5:50pm: I've picked up the girls, and am filling up my gas tank on my way to watch Braden play some bball. I'm sickened by the site of $4.53 per gallon, and immediately occupy my thoughts with, "Where have I been driving?" The pump stops and I see my total as $82.85. Severe anxiety kicks in. Brighton seems to be teasing Boston, so I lean back in the driver door to settle the dispute. Once they seemed to be calmed, I get in the car, start it, and start driving away. Did you catch what I forgot to do? Oh yes, that's right. I DIDN'T PUT THE GAS HOSE AWAY!!! So yes, I drove away with the gas hose in my car, pulling it off of the pump. I slam on my breaks and my hands hit my face, "SERIOUSLY?" A guy pumping gas next to me, calmly walks over, takes the hose out, replaces my gas cap, and tells me, "Get out of here... they'll make you pay for it... I didn't see anything." In a panic, and clearly not thinking about honesty, I do as he says and start driving away. I'm not even out of the lot before I see the owner/manager/whoever, walking out and trying to get my attention. So of course I tell him I'm coming back (I was already out in the street), I make a u-turn and pull back in. I told him, "sorry, I just kind of panicked". He fortunately laughed. Then he tells me that I"m lucky, because it looks like the hose just popped off, and that no further damage was done. So my cost will only be about $130 - $150. WHAT! SERIOUSLY? I don't know why, but I kind of thought he would tell me they were covered for this type of stuff but that he just needed my info. So now, I am waiting for a phone call to tell me that my gas tank was not $82, but ended up being $232.
6:15pm: We arrive at the church to finally watch Braden. Brighton gets out of the car kind of weird, and I realize she's peed her pants. Seriously? I was not about to go home, so I just put her in a diaper and let her run all around. WT? Oh well.
This darling girl, that I know from high school, started a really fun/cute blog not too long ago. She does a series of posts called "Seriously", and every time I read one, I have a million "Seriously" moments of my own pop in my head. So... I just have to copy her.
I'm going to take it back a few months to a monumental "Seriously?" moment that I relive daily. I am reminded of this moment because the aftermath is still on my walls.
Literally.
This is going to be a semi-long, "seriously?" post. But hopefully you'll get a good laugh.
Here we go.
Remember way back in October, when I made Brighton this cute dress for Halloween?
Well what I didn't mention in my earlier post about making it, is that I literally stayed up all night to finish it. I got done around 5am, (bleh) just in time for Brighton to wake up super early, not even allowing me a cat nap. So I just had to suck it up and go about my day as normal. We did a photo shoot with Sarah, I met my in-laws for shopping and lunch, and then I got the girls ready and we went out to Debi's (in Corona) for Piper's 3rd birthday/halloween party. I drove the 45 minutes home around 8pm, and barely made it. I put the girls to bed and went and passed out on my bed without another thought. This was right around 9pm.
At 11pm, Brighton came in my room with a bottle of nail polish. And this is wear the "Seriously?" part starts.
She had obviously painted her nails/hands, but upon further investigation she had painted our fan...and it was completely covered...with like 5 different colors, the hall mirror, the wall in the hallway, her bedroom door, her night light, her nightstand, and had gobs of it in her hair. I'm freaking out and say to her, "Brighton! You painted the fan, the mirror the wall!" and she says, "And Bossy's face?" WHAT!
Seriously?
I rush in to Boston, and sure enough she has black glitter polish circling each eye. She wanted Bos to be a pirate. Boston was still sleeping, but of course I whisked her out of bed to make sure her eyes were okay. They were.
So basically for 2 hours, Brighton had been going around her room and the hallway painting everything in sight using roughly 5 different colors. 2 hours!
Seriously?
And then she did it again at Christmas at my mom's house. Not nearly as bad, but still.
Seriously?
This is after I tried getting it off...Um ya, not going to happen.
PS. Yes I left my nail polish out. Seriously my bad.
